*shuffleshuffle...

Do you and your friends have a signal for when things get awkward? Like there's the awkward arm, which is your arm held out to the side, bent at the elbow with your forearm hanging down and you move it side to side like the early stages of the robot. Or the awkward turtle. Take one of your hands and hold it out in front of you with the palm down. Take your other hand and put it on top of your first hand, also with palm down. then move your thumbs in little circles. This is the awkward turtle. I don't really like that one though because it's actually the sign for sea turtle in ASL. My favorite is the awkward snowman where you make fists, put one under your chin and the other one right under that. What an awkward snowman it makes! His head is huge! (thanks dulcey)

anyhoo I was thinking about the nature of awkward.

This came about by yet another viewing of symphony of science and thinking of how good I feel when I think about how huge the universe is. Like the galaxy song. Or...universe song. whatevs.

When I think about my stupid little insignificant life…it just makes me feel better. Takes the pressure off, you know? I’ve probably said that before, but it’s really lovely how I can still be reminded of that and it’s like I’m hearing it for the first time.

This leads me to thinking about how other people might take that information, it might send them the other way and make them feel hopeless and worthless, like they don’t matter and how important it is for them to make themselves MATTER. And how that life just frustrates me, that life of the drama of daily life and social hullabulloo, it’s just exhausting.

So I find myself thinking about these guys who just live in that exploring-the-universe world but they can't deal with people. Whoda thunk I had anything in common with science people.

So maybe it’s not so much ‘awkward’ that I’m thinking about as it is…one’s place in the cosmos. Well no, maybe that leads to awkward, how easily some people, those that see the small scale comings and goings and can wiggle themselves into a place in this everyday life and how much trouble some people, the folks that live in the bigness, have fitting in. With all their awkward angles and what not.

Makes me think about the nature of the stuff I like to create, these little nothing pieces. I guess they celebrate and focus on the little nothing moments that make up our lives. I'm working on one now that's a love story between a girl and a tomato. I think it's almost there.

I've also been thinking about this because I'm suiting up to embark on another summer of glorious theater and good times with chilluns and I'm faced with looking for scripts that we could work on. And man, there's a lot of crap out there. There's a lot of good stuff that would be challenging and what not, but I'm searching for that tiny little barely existing category of absurdist youth theatre because that's what I like and I'd love to expose the kids to some of it too.

Sorry if these sort-of revelations are getting repetitive, it feels like I keep having the same thoughts in slightly new ways. So again, here's something for your troubles. How bout the Symphony of Science video I was watching earlier.

Also some quotes I think illustrate what I'm talking about.

"And so, while others miserably pledge themselves to the insatiable pursuit of ambition and brief power, I will stretched out in the shade singing." -Fray Luis de Leon

(that was the quote on my senior page in high school. Cool how I still connect with it.)

"Within every atom there is infinite love. Take a moment to be loved." -...I think this was from a meditation I was listening to. Or something.

Also also, here are some sites that celebrate little nothing moments in cool ways.

http://missedconnectionsny.blogspot.com/

http://1000awesomethings.com/

http://www.postsecret.com/

Also also also I still don't understand formatting, so I apologize for the wonkiness.